coffeejunkie | 02nd beat; written

House 40 Rules
Version 2
[Some of you might remember a certain set of house rules going up prior to Yuri's disappearance. Otonashi isn't exactly second-in-command, but Hinata is emotionally out of commission, Naoi had already taken the burden of announcing her departure, and Noda is MIA.

Oh, and Yotsuba is too young to be making rules.. even though the potential for comedy is there.]

1. No loud music, shouting, or being loud after 11pm. There’s a little girl trying to sleep! It doesn’t matter if you stay up late, but keep the noise down.

2. Keep your eroge and other 18+ fare safely put away! If it’s left out in the living room, I’ll confiscate it. Yotsuba shouldn’t have to see that and neither should any visitors!

3. Everyone follows the rules. Even you, Noda..!

4. Please?

5. Try to keep your rooms clean.

6. Clean up after yourself in the kitchen.

7. Don’t leave your underwear in the bathroom… Keep that clean too.

8. The house is everyone’s responsibility, not just one person’s! Especially not just mine.

9. DON’T KILL EACH OTHER. I don’t care that it “didn’t matter” in the afterlife, it always matters!

10. Don’t make medieval traps! This includes BUT ISN'T LIMITED TO hammer traps, falling ceilings, collapsing floors, and spike pits! If you saw it in a JRPG dungeon, you can't make it in the house! (We can play an RPG instead.)

11. Don’t train in the living room! Keep it to your own room if you insist on doing it in the house…

12. Yotsuba: Make sure you go to school and do well. If you do, I’ll make sure to pick you up a gift at the end of each week. Oh, and find an adult that isn’t Noda if someone is bothering you!

13. Continue respecting Hayate.

14. If you want to set up an in-house visit, mark it either on the white board that Yuri set up or somewhere we can see it. It's better to let everyone know.

15. Don’t measure yourselves in the living room… Why is this even a problem..?! I won’t tell you that you can’t do it privately, because I know that’ll make you just want to do it more.
Noda, this means you… I've heard about your "competitions" and I'm telling now, I don't care..!

16. House meetings are still held on Sunday.

17. RESPECT EVERYONE'S PRIVACY. Knock before entering rooms unless it is an emergency! If I see you barging in, I'll... yell at you!

18. No throwing furniture, halberds, weapons, people, or… goldfish…

19. Why is there a goldfish named after me again..?

20. Okay! Please follow the rules. They aren’t even that hard to follow, you guys…

21. Don't discount me because I'm not Yuri! I don't think I should have to put on a bow and thigh-highs to enforce a rule around here...

-- voice;

[Well, there is a distinct lack of Yuri-specific rules. Like it or not, Yuri Nakamura is no longer in Luceti. He's in no rush to replace her, but the acceptance and healing process has to start somewhere. So, he might as well be the one to take initiative.]

I think that should do for now, unless I missed something... Any, uh... suggestions? [No punishment games though! Otonashi isn't much of a disciplinarian.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tasteless as ever?! I... I don't even know who you are! Leave me out of this—this maid objectifying..! [SIGH. Okay, maybe she's confusing him with someone else. Maybe he needs to not lose his temper...]

See! See, that's the sort of thought process I was talking about! Spoilsport!

What thought process?! If you mean not treating maids like objects, then... yeah, I guess so! Maids can be PRETTY, but that's different! Is that what you wanted?! [This is so not funny. ~~Except it totally is~~]

Ugh... Listen. I don't even know who you are... Are you sure you're talking to the right person?

Of course I'm sure! But if you insist on introductions, I'm Haruhi Suzmiya, the chief of the SOS-Brigade. Now you have to return the introduction.

But how can you be— [UGH. Nevermind. She's convinced she knows him for whatever reason. SOS Brigade? Kinda sounds like the SSS, at least in name...] Okay—okay, do you prefer Suzumiya or Haruhi?

I, uh... I'm Otonashi. I... don't know my given name. [He honestly still can't recall it. Eventually he should get to working that out...]

You don't?

[She feels like she used to know it... what was it? Yusaku? No, she don't recall exactly. Oh well.]

Whatever. You can call me whatever you want, Otonashi, just know you'll be punished for incorrect answers.

No... [Your guess is as good as his, Haruhi.]

Uhh... H-Haruhi, then? [Yuri and Yui went on a first-name basis with everyone by choice. And this girl seems... similarly energetic.] Wait—punish me?! Don't you think that's a little unreasonable...?!

What's unreasonable about it?!

Everything! Why would you want to punish me over wrong answers..? You aren't giving me much of a chance here...

Because you're being annoying and mistaken about key things in this world! Come on, get a grip!

You're the one being—! [OKAY, no, don't go down that road.] ... Are you the authority on this world?! You don't seem like it...

Edited 2013-04-03 02:23 (UTC)

Show some respect! One, I'm in a position of authority, two, I'm older than you, and three, I've been in this world for over four years!

T-then show some respect in return! [SIGHING. Forever.] I've talked to other authority figures about the world, and I would believe them first. They aren't asking weird questions and threatening to punish me over nothing...!

B-besides, how would you know how old I am..?

Oh yeah, like who?

Like Layton. And Wakahisa sent me an information packet! Naoi isn't exactly as authoritative as he... tells people he is... but he's been here for a while too!

Layton's that new teacher at the school, right? With the top hat? Six months, tops. He's not been here even a year, I can tell you that. Kouki's been here... [She taps a foot as she considers it] maybe a little more than two. Two an hour, maybe. Less than three. I'll give him a pass, but if it was an "information packet" he probably just sent you Raine's guide, right? Are you stupid?

And Naoi doesn't count because he's evil, so you've got nothing!

Eh? What's wrong with that guide?! And you can ease up on the insults anytime...

[And then she tells him about Naoi's "evil." Oh no. No. Naoi might not be all sunshine and rainbows, he might not even be a very nice person on a good day, but evil?]

You're wrong. You think that you know everything about him? He's not just some "evil person" with a God complex! Maybe you do know more about this confusing world than me—but you're wrong about Naoi. If you're going to lecture me about Luceti, then just do it! [He's passionate about his friends okay, they're basically all misunderstood and tragic and some are complete social rejects.]

[Snap- She slams her hands on the table, and this time she isn't just being casually annoyed, she's mad] He tried to kill me, you stupid jackass! He tried to kill me, destroyed the front room of my HQ - while trying to kill a seven year old, I might add - and you're telling me I need to understand him?! It's one thing to hear it from Yuri, but at least she forced him to write an apology letter. What's the matter with you?!

I'm not saying he's never done anything wrong! I've watched him hypnotize people, I've heard all the complaints! I know he's capable of doing awful things! He's wrong, okay?! He's wrong for doing it! He's wrong for trying to hurt you or anyone else!

[Call him stupid, but he has an impossible amount of passion for people...]

But he's not just... evil!

I'm sorry for anything he did to you, Haruhi... And I'll do everything I can to make sure he won't do it again.

But saying he's evil is saying he can't be better, or he's just completely bad... or inhuman...

[She stopped listening to that mid way through the first rant. An apologist who is trying to appeal to her moral sensibilities after dismissing death threads, are kidding her? In fact, at about the point that he gets to the "he's wrong, okay" she just rolls her eyes and slams the book shut, letting the rest of that fall on deaf ears. She replied to this guy on a whim - because she knew some other version of him before - but that is not what she wanted to hear.

He can, of course, try to call her again or something or wonder why the line is silent, but she's off to do something else to calm down]

[Okay. He expected that. Maybe he even deserved that.

It is right then that he reaffirms the notion that this house is going to kill him. Can't they all just get along and not kill each other? No, apparently that's too much to ask. No nice things. NONE.

Note to self: Confront Naoi. What the hell did you do?
And call Haruhi back after some time has passed. Maybe after she cools off.]

[Hey she'll answer calls. Or you can go by her HQ later or her house if you want to figure out where she lives and be weird. ]

Edited 2013-04-18 05:51 (UTC)

02nd beat; written > voice

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

1/2

how is it that you always have like the perfect icon? witchcraft!

I do try!

He would prrrrobably feel compelled to check up on her later, if that's okay?

that's cool yeah!!