coffeejunkie | 02nd beat; written

House 40 Rules
Version 2
[Some of you might remember a certain set of house rules going up prior to Yuri's disappearance. Otonashi isn't exactly second-in-command, but Hinata is emotionally out of commission, Naoi had already taken the burden of announcing her departure, and Noda is MIA.

Oh, and Yotsuba is too young to be making rules.. even though the potential for comedy is there.]

1. No loud music, shouting, or being loud after 11pm. There’s a little girl trying to sleep! It doesn’t matter if you stay up late, but keep the noise down.

2. Keep your eroge and other 18+ fare safely put away! If it’s left out in the living room, I’ll confiscate it. Yotsuba shouldn’t have to see that and neither should any visitors!

3. Everyone follows the rules. Even you, Noda..!

4. Please?

5. Try to keep your rooms clean.

6. Clean up after yourself in the kitchen.

7. Don’t leave your underwear in the bathroom… Keep that clean too.

8. The house is everyone’s responsibility, not just one person’s! Especially not just mine.

9. DON’T KILL EACH OTHER. I don’t care that it “didn’t matter” in the afterlife, it always matters!

10. Don’t make medieval traps! This includes BUT ISN'T LIMITED TO hammer traps, falling ceilings, collapsing floors, and spike pits! If you saw it in a JRPG dungeon, you can't make it in the house! (We can play an RPG instead.)

11. Don’t train in the living room! Keep it to your own room if you insist on doing it in the house…

12. Yotsuba: Make sure you go to school and do well. If you do, I’ll make sure to pick you up a gift at the end of each week. Oh, and find an adult that isn’t Noda if someone is bothering you!

13. Continue respecting Hayate.

14. If you want to set up an in-house visit, mark it either on the white board that Yuri set up or somewhere we can see it. It's better to let everyone know.

15. Don’t measure yourselves in the living room… Why is this even a problem..?! I won’t tell you that you can’t do it privately, because I know that’ll make you just want to do it more.
Noda, this means you… I've heard about your "competitions" and I'm telling now, I don't care..!

16. House meetings are still held on Sunday.

17. RESPECT EVERYONE'S PRIVACY. Knock before entering rooms unless it is an emergency! If I see you barging in, I'll... yell at you!

18. No throwing furniture, halberds, weapons, people, or… goldfish…

19. Why is there a goldfish named after me again..?

20. Okay! Please follow the rules. They aren’t even that hard to follow, you guys…

21. Don't discount me because I'm not Yuri! I don't think I should have to put on a bow and thigh-highs to enforce a rule around here...

-- voice;

[Well, there is a distinct lack of Yuri-specific rules. Like it or not, Yuri Nakamura is no longer in Luceti. He's in no rush to replace her, but the acceptance and healing process has to start somewhere. So, he might as well be the one to take initiative.]

I think that should do for now, unless I missed something... Any, uh... suggestions? [No punishment games though! Otonashi isn't much of a disciplinarian.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Gh... [Point taken. But Noda never considers a lot of things. He leaves that part alone as he focuses more on the latter.]

So you've met Yurippe and don't remember? Are you making your amnesia an excuse again?

[Can you hear the growl in his voice?]

[ She cringes. ] It's too bad you can't fly with them. Flying is... amazing. Rainbow Dash wasn't speaking all in hyperbole.

What's unreasonable about it?!

[ Don't worry, she's just being deadpan about the worst subjects. ]

My name's Ange, Ange Ushiromiya. Nice to meet you, I guess. [ ... ] And.. well, thinking about it, I guess anyone gets unfazed to this place after a while. It's since anything at all can get normal and predictable, you know?

[Indeed. Hinata would love it if more people called him Hinacchi, and even Yuri seemed to accept Yurippe after a while. No "Cookie" though, at least!] Haha, I... thought that might be the case. Hinata is fond of those kinds of nicknames though, so... heads-up if you ever run into him.

Okay. [Nobody can see his nod from the other end.] Take care of yourself 'til then!

[It is indeed. And it's clear to him just how important when she comes back to it.]

If it doesn't cut me in half or crush my spine, then... Y-yeah, that's probably okay. Just curious, um... what do you consider a harmless trap? [Your mileage may vary on the word "harmless," in his experience.]

[At least Noda isn't refuting him on this particular point. It's a small victory.]

Wh—

An excuse?! It has never been an excuse—! Why would I make that up?! Do you seriously think I like this..!?

Everything! Why would you want to punish me over wrong answers..? You aren't giving me much of a chance here...

Hmph, how should I know if you'd like it? I don't go forgetting important things like you do.

Oh, you know...putting spices in someone's food, drawing a mustache on someone while they sleep, burying someone in the sand - things like that.

Because you're being annoying and mistaken about key things in this world! Come on, get a grip!

Can you fly with yours? [Her body is oriented so much different than a human's, maybe...?] Ah-- Pinkie and Rainbow Dash... a-are they ponies, too?

I don't do it on purpose! I hate it, I've always hated it! [He looks away for a second, stifling any number of harsh words he could direct at Noda. Seems like the other boy actually hit a nerve.]

W-why should I care what you think anyway?! You're just a jerk! A jerk who can't handle pi or—or even see when he's being used! [Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous. It's too bad neither of them seem to know when to quit, though...]

Regular spices? Nothing... that someone couldn't live down, right? [No poison, nothing that would require a hospital visit? That sounds okay.] Ahah... I could probably get behind drawing a mustache on someone...

Ah—you too! Really, I, uh, hope I didn't say anything strange... [He'll figure it out, but for now he sounds a little nervous. What if he's putting her off?]

Ahh, yeah, anything can become routine I guess, but... getting used to it doesn't mean it's okay, right? And it doesn't seem like anyone's happy to be here, either. [Nobody should have to get used to wing implants and bar codes.]

You're the one being—! [OKAY, no, don't go down that road.] ... Are you the authority on this world?! You don't seem like it...

Edited 2013-04-03 02:23 (UTC)

I'll keep that in mind.

[On the look out for: Serial Nicknamer, possibly in Luceti.]

Thanks and you too!

Huh. Maybe you're not as dry and humorless as I thought, then.

Show some respect! One, I'm in a position of authority, two, I'm older than you, and three, I've been in this world for over four years!

If it's not going to kill or destroy someone's bodily functions... It's just for fun, right? I could... mix up someone's drink—like dump out a soda and fill it with water!— or short sheet someone, haha! [Oh yeah, Otonashi sure is a "rebel." Lookout everyone.]

T-then show some respect in return! [SIGHING. Forever.] I've talked to other authority figures about the world, and I would believe them first. They aren't asking weird questions and threatening to punish me over nothing...!

B-besides, how would you know how old I am..?

...

[ A pause. As if she's debating something to herself. But then she just decides to plainly say it. That's her way of doing things either way, right? ]

I'm happy to be here.

[ Yeah, he’s a real delinquent. ]

I hear if you put someone’s hand in cup of water while they sleep, they’ll wet the bed.

Yeah, they're two of my best friends! And I can fly! Just not very well yet. I'm new at this.

I'm not sure if I caught your name.

You... are?

[He sounds surprised, but it fades. Thinking on it, people could have hailed from worse worlds than this, right? Luceti looks unjust and twisted on its surface, but maybe it just looks that way to him...]

I guess I shouldn't speak for everyone. Even with the strange things they've done to us...

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